In the vast majority of Europe, just being female seems to be enough to attract the undying attention of nearly every male in a 10 mile radius. While this might initially make for a nice little ego boost in those of us who are raised to feel that we have to compete for attention in our own home countries, (I was once followed three blocks from the pharmacy in Paris where I had gone to buy medicine to fight off the head cold from hell. No makeup, hair a mess, dressed in sweats, and spreading the plauge...Really? This is attractive to you?) the novelty generally wears off pretty quickly. In Norway, a country packed to the gills with tall, broad shouldered, blue eyed Vikings who I wouldn't necessarily mind following me three blocks in any given direction, I have had no such luck. Maybe it's down to the fact that there are so many conventionally attractive men here that they don't feel the need to be as...outgoing...as some of their Southern European counterparts...or maybe it's just down to the bizarre set of "dating" rituals they seem to have come up with around here that I still can't quite wrap my head around.
"Dating" was never a high priority for me on this trip, but I am single and I am alive, so I kind of can't help but notice the abundance of men here who are in line with my type...and by "type" I basically just mean tall. Plus, the majority of my couch surf hosts have been single women so the topic of dating does tend to come up in conversation a lot. What I've taken away from these conversations is that dating in Norway is a convoluted and confusing two-way-street of secret codes...and I'm no Alan Turing. These are some of the things I've heard from local women since I've been here:
-If a Norwegian guy likes you, he'll just stare at you from across the bar. If you like him too, stare back. Game on....
-Its perfectly acceptable, and in most cases required, for a woman to approach a guy in a bar and give him her number, or invite him to join her. Score one for 'girl power'.
-If a Norwegian guy does actually approach you, and says what sounds like "har du en pris?", he is not, in fact, asking if you have a price- the literal translation of that sentence- He's asking if you have chewing tobacco, which is weirdly popular here. Best not to ask if he's calling you a hooker. (This one I learned on my own) **Edit: I've since been told that Snus, as they call it, is NOT chewing tobacco. It's similar, but stronger and pre-divided in individual little "tea bags" that eliminate the need for spitting**
-"Your place or mine?" (or the Norwegian equivalent thereof) is a perfectly acceptable opening line at a bar, often met with an actual answer, rather than a drink in the face. Here they shoot first and ask questions later.
-Out hiking a mountain? Wear a green headband. This signals you're single and looking to mingle. Red means "back off I'm taken". Seriously, this is a thing...
In short, if you're a woman who likes to be pursued a little bit by the opposite sex, Norway is not your country. The work goes both ways here, for better or worse. Factor in the language barrier (nearly everyone here speaks English, but some can be shy in doing so, and my Norwegian is elementary at best) and its next to impossible to break the ice with anyone. Needless to say, the good old American female standby "sit at the bar until someone comes to talk to you" does NOT fly here. I know. I've tried it on multiple occasions. At best you get a sideways glance, as if to say "what's wrong with that one?" Generally you're just ignored...that is, until the booze starts flowing.
Alcohol is the game-changer in the Norwegian flirting scene (I suppose it is in most places, but not as markedly as it is here, I think) By 1 or 2am- remember, they don't even go to the bar before midnight- all of those reserved, skeptical sideways glances give way to a drunken free-for-all of pickup lines and inappropriate gestures. The codes go out the window and its straight down to business. If you're in the market for a quick hookup and not particularly choosy about it, this is your Valhalla.
I've never much cared for drunken advances, and generally don't have the motivation to sit at a bar alone until 2am anyway, so this doesn't really help me any. But now I'm in Stavanger, and there's a food festival that's taken over the bulk of downtown that promises to lower the inebriation threshold from 2am to a much more manageable 8 or 9pm. Maybe I'll actually stand a chance of catching someone in the sweet spot between quietly skeptical and uselessly drunk. If not, I've at least bought myself a green headband ;)
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